The truth about genealogy conferences

What do you do when reality doesn’t match your expectations? Here’s what I happened at a conference I attended, plus a prompt to help you reframe your own genealogy moments.

I expected questions. I got stories instead.

When I packed up my books and materials for the Ohio Genealogical Society conference last week, I had a clear vision: three solid talks on Pennsylvania records, a table in the vendor hall, and a weekend full of people asking questions like, “Where do I find church records in Bucks County?”

But that’s not what happened.

Instead, people walked up to my table and said things like:

“Let me tell you about my great-grandfather. I didn’t even know he existed until I saw a draft registration card.”

“We found a cousin in Westmoreland County. My mom cried when she called him.”

No quick questions. No research requests.

Just full-on stories. Emotional, winding, beautiful stories.

I’ll be honest—I was caught off guard.

There was a moment, standing behind that table, when I felt disillusioned. I had come prepared to give information. But no one really wanted information.

They wanted to connect.

With me. With their ancestors. With each other.

And once I realized that, it all clicked. Of course they told me their stories. That’s what family history is. That’s what matters most to people.

I made a video of the experience too:

A different kind of conference

Had I understood that sooner, I would have done the weekend differently. I would have set up my booth in the vendor hall with a recording booth and just… listened. Asked more questions. Created even more space for those stories to land.

This wasn’t a failure of planning. It was a shift in perspective. And like most things in genealogy, it required a little reframing.

Which got me thinking: how many of your experiences need reframing?

• That moment when a Facebook group shuts down your post.

• That discovery that shakes what you thought you knew about your family.

• That conference or class where you walked away feeling unseen or unheard.

These moments sting—but sometimes, with the right mindset, they become big moments of personal growth.

A ChatGPT prompt for reframing experiences

Here’s a prompt you can try the next time you feel discouraged or confused by something that happened in your genealogy journey. Copy and paste the prompt below into ChatGPT, completing the parts in the brackets for yourself:

I want you to help me reframe a frustrating or disappointing experience related to genealogy.

Here’s what happened: [briefly describe the event—e.g., a family discovery that upset me, a tense comment in a Facebook group, or a genealogy event that didn’t meet expectations].

I’d like help seeing it from a new angle—not just glossing over it, but really exploring what this moment might be trying to teach me. Provide a reframing based on the theories of [insert one of the psychological models described below].

Show me how to find the meaning in it, what I can control, and how I might grow as a genealogist and storyteller because of it.

Keep your response kind, honest, and practical—not fluffy. Pretend like you are talking to me over coffee and ask follow-up questions for clarity.

🛡️Prefer privacy? Choose temporary chat option.

Making your reframing even more effective

This prompt is powerful because it instantly gives us an alternative perspective to consider when things go awry.

If you’re wondering how to make it even more powerful, consider using one of the psychological theories below. These aren’t just therapy buzzwords—they’re frameworks that genuinely help us see ourselves differently:

1. Adlerian Psychology: You are not broken—you are capable.

This approach reminds us that every challenge is a chance to choose courage and contribution. Even a frustrating moment in a Facebook group can become fuel for writing a more honest story.

2. Logotherapy (Viktor Frankl): Meaning is stronger than suffering.

When we hit roadblocks in our research or find hard truths about our ancestors, it can help to ask: What deeper meaning is here? What does this story add to my understanding of humanity?

3. Socioemotional Selectivity Theory: We care more about meaning and connection as we age.

So don’t feel bad if you no longer care about impressing anyone. You’re wired now to seek what matters. Stories, truth, beauty, and human connection—that’s the good stuff. That’s the whole point.

Reminder: ChatGPT works great for coaching, but it is not a trained therapist and should not be used as one.

What I’m taking with me

I went to the conference thinking I had the answers. I left realizing the most important thing I could offer was presence, curiosity, and space for stories.

So that’s what I’m doing now—more stories, fewer “know-it-all” scripts.

Try the prompt. Reframe something that has you stuck. Share the story if you’re ready. Or just sit with it until the meaning starts to rise.

Because when it does?

That’s the good stuff.

Happy Mother’s Day!

—Denyse

P.S. This post is an example of one of my paid posts and free for Mother’s Day. Please share with your fellow aspiring storytellers and family historians navigating the messy, meaningful middle.