Today, I sat down with the wonderful Annette Gendler—author, memoirist, and family history writing guide—for a heartfelt talk on making time to write, not just hoping we’ll stumble upon it.
We shared the small, real-life rituals that help us both return to writing. For Annette, it’s monthly “write-ins” with her siblings—held on the anniversary of their father’s death, as a way to reconnect, remember, and preserve a shared story. For me, it’s something more solitary: calendar appointments with a single ancestor. I show up, turn off distractions, and just write what’s present. No pressure. No research rabbit holes. Just reflection.
If you’re feeling behind, or unsure where to begin, you can click to watch the video. Or just read on for a few gems from our conversation.
“It’s stories that get passed down—not your research. People tell each other stories at the Thanksgiving table, not footnotes.” —Annette
“I stopped calling myself a genealogist because I was tired of arguing over whether someone was born on the 28th or the 29th. I care more about who they were, not just when they were.” —Denyse
We also talked about the power of starting small. Annette offered this simple prompt: Begin with an object. Choose something you’ve inherited or held onto and write the story of that item. Who it came from. Why it matters. What it makes you remember.
It doesn’t have to be polished. It doesn’t even have to be shared. As Annette reminded us, even a list of bullet points or “chapter headings” is more than nothing—and it might just be the beginning of something beautiful.
And if something sparked for you while reading, tell us in the comments: What’s the story you want to start writing next?
Let’s make something out of the “should.”
— Denyse
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